IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO HAVE A JEWISH CHILDHOOD

Cleaning out drawers and closets reveals amazing things. I found a shabby brown envelope stuffed with all my ideas for my first book (the one I’ve never written) called “It’s Never Too Late to Have a Jewish Childhood.” Though I first began gathering these tidbits about the positive aspects of growing up in a Jewish home to provide insight for my Christian friends, I see they may be more relevant today to a totally different audience. After reading that Chinese parents search bookshelves for information about Jewish home life, I realize I may have stumbled onto a treasure trove of usable information. As China rises on the world horizon as an economic super power, Chinese parents have become aware of the disproportionate success of Jews in medicine, science, communications, politics, law, business, writing and education. Chinese families are anxious to uncover the secrets of raising Jewish children in the hopes of creating the same results in their own offspring. Here are some chapter titles for my proposed twenty two chapter volume. Though I put a humorous spin on them, I think you’ll recognize some of the characteristics of a Jewish perspective on family life. 1. The Making of a Jewish Princess 2. Hooray! You’re Thirteen and We’re Going to Celebrate 3. B’Sharyt: It’s Meant to Be 4. Mitzvahs: The Mainstay of our Faith 5. The Sabbath: A Taste of the Holy Life 6. Scholarship: The S Word 7. Family Ties 8. Options: Avoiding That Boxed in Feeing 9. Meal-Time: The Forgotten Forum 10. Be a Father, Not a Friend Growing up in the ‘50’s in New Jersey, I can mainly offer the perspective that my generation experienced as we grew up with parents who were usually the first in their family to be born in the United States. It was a time when Jews first moved much more easily into the mainstream of American life, enjoying the perks that came from increased mobility and acceptance into society. Education was at the top of the list as was family support. It was a time when optimism ruled, and the “go for it” spirit prevailed. My home life centered around my father - an intelligent, fun-loving man who was decidedly the main figure in our family. If I asked why we were having tongue for dinner “again,” my mother’s answer was always the same. “Your father loves tongue. That’s why we eat it.” We had a traditional family hierarchy that was common at that time. My father was at the top of the decision-making process. Our life revolved around his menswear store, his likes and dislikes, the people that he enjoyed spending time with and his various and ever-changing projects. But this set-up was not a matter of control. It was an acknowledgement that someone had to make the final decisions, and in our family it was my dad. Though my father was the kingpin, the three women in the family had no problem speaking up when something disturbed them or they wanted a change in some aspect of our life together. He always listened to our often-diverse opinions, but once he made a decision, we all abided by it. And he was an honorable man. I watched him lose his business when a heart attack had him sidelined for over a year and spending the next five years paying back what he owed every vendor. “It’s not their fault I got sick,” he announced one day. Bankruptcy was not an option for this man with a strong ethical character. What seemed to be a constant in the homes of all my Jewish friends was the impressive amount of time that we spent together – eating, talking, vacationing. (Did I mention eating?) The dinner table, a contemporary beauty built by my father, was the gathering place for family and friends. We always ate dinner together and lingered after the meal to chat about current events, school happenings or general talk on every conceivable subject. Today’s Jewish families seemed to be more child-centered than adult centered, but the sense of family ties is as strong as ever. Just go to any Jewish life-cycle event and you will see the extended family present in full force for the simcha. What can Chinese parents learn from the way we Jews raise our children? Hopefully, we specialize in creating a loving, supportive atmosphere where each child has a strong sense of self and the confidence to pursue his or her dreams. Finally, after all these decades of enjoying Chinese food, we have something to give back to our Chinese neighbors. (Should I have included a recipe for brisket and latkes in my book? It couldn’t hurt.)